Bernetta (Bonnie) Dallas Dyste Haugen Grimes

Bernetta (Bonnie) Dallas Dyste Haugen Grimes

Bernetta (Bonnie) Dallas Dyste Haugen Grimes was born on December 9, 1926, in Maddock, Benson County, North Dakota, to Carl Bernard Dyste and Addie Nelson Dyste.  She died shortly after midnight on December 16, 2024, in Missoula, MT. And she has been missed every day since; first with tears and now with the warm smiles she so often showed us.

Through her years, she sang, acted, excelled in academics, wrote when she could, danced, played and laughed, and enjoyed the many friendships she developed along the way.  She also found time to work at a bank, an ice cream parlor, a movie theater and, in the days of the spoils system, for the postmaster. She graduated as valedictorian of her class in 1944 and was offered scholarships from four colleges.  Financial circumstances made all of these offers impossible to accept.  But she taught us all anyway.  If we listened closely we could learn grace, forgiveness, understanding, gratitude and how to have fun.

Bonnie married Aril Haugen in January, 1945.  They worked briefly at the shipyards in Vancouver, Washington, farmed in North Dakota and then heeded the call of the West and headed out for the coast, with their two small girls, Margaret and Patricia, and a small trailer.  They stopped to visit friends in Anaconda and stayed.  They had two more daughters, Barbara and Addie. They built a life together, bought a bare lot and built a house.  As the house was built, so too were friendships – many folks showed up to help.  It was in this neighborhood that Bonnie opened her home for children’s parties, dance lessons, planning a carnival and some fun games, and for that she had to get a piano. The two older girls wrote a neighborhood newspaper, with ads and sales.  We can still smell that mimeograph.  Bonnie was also an amazing seamstress, sewing clothes for her children, curtains and more, on rented machines.  Having a house meant she could buy a sewing machine and sew anytime she wanted to.  She did all this while working at various jobs; the one most remembered by folks from Anaconda is her stint at Blattner Plumbing and Heating.  Even with all of this activity, four daughters and work, Bonnie continued to be an active participant in First Lutheran Church, teaching Sunday School and singing in the choir.

Bonnie and Aril divorced in 1971 and, Bonnie, along with Addie, moved into town and started her path to becoming an alcoholism counselor.  She loved the classes, writing papers, reading and interactions with professors.  During this time she met Walter Bruce Grimes.  They married in 1978 and moved to Missoula, Montana. She gained four children from this union and they all grew to know one another, especially while camping. In Missoula, Bonnie worked for Senior Nutrition as a home visitor, completing needs assessments.  When the Meals on Wheels contract changed, she went to work for Vocational Rehabilitation of Montana.  There she was a recipient of the rehabilitation support specialist of the year award for the State organization of rehabilitation professionals. Her insights were sought after and appreciated at every job she had.

Bonnie and Bruce retired to Butte, Montana, living across the alley from her new church, Gold Hill Lutheran.  She made many good friends there. She believed that as a Christian she should practice stewardship of the earth, and that included her yard.  She loved spending time patiently planting, pulling weeds and trimming. She donated regularly to the Arbor Day Foundation and planted many of the trees they sent.   One day Barbara stopped to visit and found her planting a tree -- On her hands and knees, digging a hole.  She was in her 90’s.  She really did believe in building for the generations to come. 

In Butte, Bonnie had time to spend with family and friends, just as the great grandchildren started to arrive.  A new generation got the benefit of her patience and creativity. As Bonnie and Bruce aged, these good friends and family members offered very tangible support.  Bruce died in April, 2021, and in September of that year Bonnie moved to Missoula to live with her daughter Barbara Haugen and her spouse Charles Widdicombe and their son Mac. Bonnie participated in discussions, stayed aware of politics, and shared her many insights with us.  She also continued to play music.  A self taught, play by ear pianist, Bonnie softly played old standards and hymns, humming or singing along, touching the hearts of those outside her door.  She had always been close to her grandson Mac, but watching this relationship grow was a gift to us all.  His gentle supportive ways with her mirrored her gentle demeanor and approach to life.  They were very good for one another.  She died with Mac standing watch and supporting her with his presence, his words, and his touch.  

We owe much thanks to the care our mom received from Dr. Patricia Kelly and staff in Missoula.  Those last few months of her life were eased by Dr. Kelly’s counsel, concern, phone calls and research.  

Bonnie was preceded in death by her mother, Addie Nelson Dyste, father, Carl Bernard Dyste,  siblings, Doris Dyste, Fern (Ken) Burcham, Carl (Beverly) Dyste, Jr., and Gene Dyste; Spouse Walter Bruce Grimes; Son-in-law Daniel “Bucko” Ricci, Grandchildren David Ricci, Jeremy Grimes; and Jeremy Sovine, great grandchild.

She is survived by her sister in law Agnes Dyste; children, Addie Haugen, Missoula, Barbara Haugen (Charles Widdicombe), Missoula and their son Mac, Patricia Forsman, Anaconda and her children Jeanne and Jim (Angela),  and Margaret Ricci, and her son Daniel (Becky) and daughter in law, Kim; Larry (Melinda) Grimes, Austin, Texas, and their children, Danielle (Sean) and Dylan (Shelby), and daughter in law Christie, Jim Grimes, Melbourne, Australia, and his children, Eva and Alex,  Melonie (Al) Delsid, Cloverdale, California, and their children Janeen and Christina, Danny (Carol) Grimes, Ellensburg, Washington, and their children Evan and Bennett (Blair); great grandchildren: Laureasa, Zane, Samantha, Averie, Jake, Jack, Ben, Kass, Becca, Riley, Haylee, Wyatt, Baker, Evelynn, Charlotte, Elijah, Gracie, Remy, Sadie, and eight great great grandchildren and many nieces and nephews. 

Services will be May 9, 2025 at Hope Lutheran Church in Anaconda at 1:00 p.m., followed by graveside services in Butte and lunch at Gold Hill Lutheran Church in Butte.