Take a stand against bullying

One night when I was a sophomore in high school I received a phone call, “Nikki, there’s a party tonight, you should really go. You don’t want to miss it,” the caller, who was my best friend and fellow cheerleader said, “but you need to bring Mary.”

I wasn’t a partier. My boyfriend Lee and I took our athletic responsibilities very seriously and wouldn’t compromise getting in trouble. The kids at the party were mostly football players, cheerleaders, and the otherwise ‘popular’ kids in school and my friend Mary (not in the popular clique) desperately wanted to go. We told her we would go for a minute and figured she’d find a ride home from someone else at the party.

The three of us laughed and sang as we drove to the party, pretty typical behavior. When we arrived and exited the car I felt a set of strong hands pulling me, and before I could register what was happening, I heard a loud noise followed by a scream. When I looked at the source, I saw raw egg dripping down Mary’s face followed by an arsenal of more eggs, one after the other, and her screams turned into sobs. Seconds later, a group of girls took a large white bucket and poured it over her head, and instantly she was soaking wet.

The liquid was the urine of all the people at the party. They had pre orchestrated the event because there was a rumor that Mary had hooked up with a senior football player the previous weekend.

We quickly grabbed our friend and put her in the car and drove away. The ride to her house was deafeningly silent. She wasn’t even crying. She was eerily stoic with no trace of any expression whatsoever. It was trauma, plain and simple, the response of a young girl that just had her dignity and humanity violently ripped from her.

She never came back to school. She moved to California with her father and I never saw Mary again. None of the kids were ever disciplined. No charges filed. Nothing. That was the most disgusting display of cruelty and bullying I think I’ve ever witnessed first hand.

I’m telling this story because the topic for my column this week is bullying, which forced me to reflect on my personal experiences, and while this story is horrendous, things have seemingly only gotten worse.

“Eight teenagers have been arrested on murder charges in the violent assault of a 17-year-old boy in Las Vegas earlier this month. Investigators said the attack, which was captured on video, occurred in an alley a few blocks from where the suspects and victim attended high school,” CBS news reported.

“A 16-year-old girl has filed a claim against her local school district, saying she was brutally attacked outside a bathroom stall as other students filmed — and a security guard watched,” explained the Los Angeles Times in an unrelated story. “The second the student exits the stall, another girl begins hurling punches at her and pulling her hair as the victim tries to defend herself, video shows. The attack goes on for about a half-minute, as other students look on and record from the outside of the bathroom. She suffered a bloodied and broken nose. Attorneys for the girl claim that a security guard can be seen in the video watching the fight and smiling.”

Oh man, if I had more space I would lay into that security guard right now, but lucky for him I don’t, so I’ll focus on the students. In both of these examples it’s clear that ‘mob mentality’ is present. But in every example, including Mary’s story, there is an irrevocable and undeniable lack of humanity for another human being. Moreover, there’s a lack of conscience from the perpetrators. That used to be referred to as psychopathic or sociopathic behavior. Now, apparently, violence is just another Friday night occurrence for too many high school students.

FOX 26 Houston reported that yesterday three Yates High School students were stabbed near campus and are in stable condition and improving, according to HISD officials.

Clearly bullying, which is not a new concept, is still alive and well even after all these years and only appears to be getting worse. These are just a couple of examples, and sadly, there are many, many more. That being said, I don’t think there’s any one solution to this problem. The old adage used to be ‘hurt people, hurt people’ until you realize that a lot of hurt people don’t hurt other people. So that case doesn’t really hold water anymore. 

Instead, maybe we should all go back to kindergarten and adopt the golden rule, treat people how you would want to be treated. Maybe realize that one seemingly insignificant action from you can result in a lifetime of pain for someone else. 

Reporter’s note: Mary’s name was changed in this story to protect her identity.